Reason Number Nine Million And One I'm Going to Hell

I recognize that it's twisted that this story about Katie Couric traveling to Iraq and Syria to report made me smile, but it did. I can just see stodgy, old white TV executives for CBS sitting around the boardroom table weighing options: "We've taken a number of different angles with her as the anchor of the Evening News and the ratings still in the toilet, and her contract's air-tight so even if we replaced her we'd still have to pay her un-Godly sums of money.  The only option is to try something radical: How about we send her to Iraq? And not one of these deals like the other networks have pulled where they secretly send someone to Iraq and film them and then they come back and report on all that they have seen.  No no, we send her to Iraq and do a media push about it leading up - that way Susie homemaker from bumble-fuck Iowa can write in to the network and ask questions and tell Katie what to do over there and she does it from fucking Iraq! Either ratings go up or she gets blown up by insurgents and therefore breaks her contract - or both. Total win-win."  And then the other people at the table grumble a little bit "Yeah, yeah, not a bad idea. Good thinkin'" and the proposal passes by unanimous vote.

I'd hate to be the asshole who had to tell her she was going to Iraq though. He probably needed body armor. "Hi, Ms. Couric. Boy you look really nice today. Sorry to disturb you but I have a quick message from the guys upstairs...."